"Every woman in the world has gone through what you’re going through. You think you’re not attractive, or that there’s something wrong with your body, but let me tell you something. There are thousands of men who would be excited half to death if they could see you."
You only need one nail to hang the painting of Jesus.
ZOMG; let’s declare a holy war on these sacrilegious blasphemers! lol
Reminds me of the classic:
Murphy has own nail making business, and he wants it to be the best in the world. So he goes to a top advertising agency to have them create a marketing strategy. The agency assures him they can create a memorable advertising campaign in a week.
The following week Murphy goes back to the agency and is shown in to a small theatre to view the finished commercial.
The lights go off and screen springs into life.
On the screen is a sunset over a desert. The camera pans around to a hill and zooms in to the top of the hill. At the top of the hill is a wooden pole. The camera climbs up the pole to where a couple of feet are hanging. It then carries on up to a man’s torso, up to his face, and there is Jesus’ face. It then moves along an outstretched arm, to a hand pinned firmly to a stake by a gleaming nail. On the nail is proudly emblazoned:
"Murphy’s Nails" A caption appears on the screen
"Murphy’s nails - they’ll never let you down"
Murphy is outraged, “You’ll get me shut down,” he screams, "That’s blasphemous! I’ll give you a week to come up with a decent campaign or I’ll go elsewhere. “
A week later Murphy goes back to the advertising agency and is shown into the theatre. “This had better be an improvement” he warns. The lights dim and the screen leaps into life.
On the screen is a Roman street with lots of people milling about. The camera then pans quickly to left to see Jesus running like hell being pursued by two Roman guards. The camera then zooms in on the two guards, to catch one saying to the other
"This would never have happened if we’d used Murphy’s nails. "
they’re probably hungry, and need to obtain oxygen. fetal circulation only works before birth. hurrdurr
I cry when some stranger yanks me outta my warm bed.
Actually, the delivering obstetrician/nurse spanks them to get them to cry, after clearing out the mucus plugs. Starts their respirations up, and also ensures that they CAN breathe properly enough to sing out.
If you DON’T hear “Waaaaaah!!!”, there is reason for concern.